Friday, April 2, 2010

Dear Samantha,

So it's 10:50 p.m. and I have a midterm tomorrow which I still haven't studied for. I seem to be a big fan of winging things. Instead, I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I fall in love with that movie every time I watch it. It's so beautiful, but sad. Anyway, now I'm listening to The Swell Season simultaneously thinking about high school and forgetting things. As strange as that time in our lives is and how silly and irrational the teen mind is, there's something about that moment we always want to recapture but somehow seem to push ourselves further away from. Lately I've been missing the 16 year old Jess. Don't you ever miss that Sam? I always think about the time we were discussing change and you said that people don't ever really change. I feel that that's true, and if it is maybe we should stop trying to change and just accept ourselves. I bet if our younger selves ever got to hang out with our older selves they would think we were pretty cool! They wouldn't see all the anxiety we have within us because of our own destructive thoughts. Anyway, what I think I'm trying to say is that maybe we should cut the expectations, stop trying to move forward and be something new and different. Instead, let's go backwards. And by backwards I don't mean regress, I mean recapture the people we've already been because those are the people we are. Every time I'm done writing to you I'm not sure if I've made any sense, but I trust in your ability to make sense out of my nonsense. In conclusion, I love you and I hope everything is great where you are.


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